I don´t own any of the characters Julian, Logan, Derek and others are from the lovely Miss Cp Coulter and Kurt from Ryan Murphy.
Julian Larson hated too many things in his life that moment.
He hated acting. At first he liked it, but then not so much because he was not only acting at work, but he also had to act at the place where he felt the safest.
He hated the wrong decisions he had made, because the consequences were too much to bear.
He hated faking smiles. Always showing the cherished smile that everybody loved, knowing how much it hurt.
He hated the brunette countertenor, not only because he knows how to calm the blonde prefect, but because he also could see him feeling better, and see what the blonde prefect didn’t see in three years, in his one talk with him.
He hated that the boy he loved didn’t notice him. He would only argue with him and sometimes even fight about stupid things like the way he broke up with Blaine, the second soloist or even how Hummel looked today.
He hated that he had met Adam. That he had trusted him with the secret that was tearing him apart, that he thought that he had a friend apart from Logan and Derek, that he didn’t see who Adam really was.
He hated that he didn’t leave when he had a chance. When he got the first threat, when he saw the gift on the steps, when he could leave.
He hated that he didn’t take Derek’s advice. He should have said something to someone, he should have told Dean Ramsey, Murdoch or even Logan, but he told Kurt and that was even worse because he had put another person in danger in these flames.
He hated that he didn’t see the sings. That Adam had bleached his hair or the possessive he was getting. That every new threat was pointing at Logan and how he looked when he mentioned his name.
He hated that he had to tell his feelings to the boy he loved in this circumstances with the ex and the current crush in the same room, and worst, with the psychopath putting a knife in his trout.
He hated that the boy he loved looked so disgusted when he had told him that he loved him. It was like somebody had ripped his heart out of off his chest and smashed it into pieces.
He hated that the flames where growing unstoppable covering every wall after the explosion and everybody was in the floor unconscious.
But more than anything he hatedthat he had put everybody in danger just because he had wanted to be selfish, to stay a little longer in the life of the boy he loved, even if they fought and screamed at each other. He just wanted to stay with him.
He just reached for the hand of the boy he loved and grabbed it tightly; he wanted to hold his hand ‘til the end.